carpe-diem-rah:

My Dad asked me last night why I carry my 1911 in the house, what am I afraid of? I looked him straight in the eye and said, “The Goddamn Decepticons.” He laughed, I laughed, the toaster laughed, I shot the toaster. It was a good time.

yourtubes:

*asks ouija board who unfollowed me*

proctalgia:

i love when dogs sigh. its like, hey bud, long day at the office?

jackiebeulahburkhart:

sherlocksmyth:

"why didn’t you do your homework over the holidays?"

image

This is the best thing I’ve ever seen

rebeccacrane:

the joker got his scars from trying to put a whole pringle in his mouth at once